Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
