you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
