My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
True strength comes from lack of pants
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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