We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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