I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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