Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
