Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
