She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
