I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
