I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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