I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
