Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
