I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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