i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
