i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
