So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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