Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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