Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
