it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
