when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
