my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
