My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
