Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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