I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
