Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
