Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
