I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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