okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
