new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Randomize
