I need help removing her.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
