turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
