If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
