lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
