Me too!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's official drugs can't kill me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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