Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
