oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
