I wish my penis had an off switch
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
