So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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