So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
