I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
