like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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