Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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