Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
