It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
