Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
