3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
