There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
