my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
my liver is dry heaving
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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