i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
