is your mom at the bar?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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