I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
