I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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